Today is the birthday of Richard Sidorik, who was my lover, then my housemate, and then my best friend for many years...until his death in 2015.
We met in 1976 when we were both working at Covenant Insurance in Hartford, CT. I was on the rebound from my first (male) lover, TJ.
Richard and I moved in together very soon after we met. After the romance wore off - we were both promiscuous and not ready to settle down - we continued living together as friends. And after splitting up to pursue other relationships, we lived together again for a couple of years until I met Kenny.
Richard spent the last ten years of his life caring diligently for his mother, who became an invalid in her old age. This took a heavy toll on him, and I believe he increased his drinking and dependence on medications to stave off depression and to help him sleep. I cannot say for sure, but I feel that his death was most likely the result of a combination of alcohol and drugs.
In a way, his death was a blessing as his health was declining rapidly and he seemed to lose interest in taking care of himself. I'll never forget our last in-person time together: he'd come in to The City for a day of lunch and shopping. Before he left to catch the train home to Connecticut, we sat in a small park in The Village for a half-hour, and he was completely silent. I tried to keep a conversation going, but at last he stood up and said, "I should go home.." and he hailed a cab.
I do not know what would have become of him in his old age, but he was spared those problems.
The thing I miss most about him is the sound of his slightly raspy speaking voice.